What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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