Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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