You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
