Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
