I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
