Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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