i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
