it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
