I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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