I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
