Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
