I'm passing your future prison.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
