i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
