I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
