OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will be naked everywhere
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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