I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
