Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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