I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Panties = found
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