I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
