Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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