Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
as a side note pls kill me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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