Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
