i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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