the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
