you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
