She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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