Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
