Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
