There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
