what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
