Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
