Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
