He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
