tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
