the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
