I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
should my penis look like a turkey
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
