That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
