I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you never un-have a 4some
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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