so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
