Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
