He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just forgot I was standing up.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I lost the right to judge tonight
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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