the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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