Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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