this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
