He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
