Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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