ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
