oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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