I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Be still, my beating vagina.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
