Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
