If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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