You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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