you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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