note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
